This post has nothing to do with "The Way We Were," but whenever I think about the word "memories," that song pops into my head and will not leave.
In light of the fact that I had nothing interesting to say tonight, I thought I would share something that I wrote when I was in Kenya, two years ago.
http://laurensfallinkenya.blogspot.com/2007/10/new-revelations.html
Sometimes, when I journal/blog, I read my entries weeks/months/years (ok, sometimes mere minutes) later, and I think "Ugh that's annoying. I can't believe I wrote those things." And that is why journaling is so great, because it makes you take a critical look at yourself. I should do it more often. Why don't I? I don't know. I'm lazy.
Anyway, sometimes re-reading journal entries is painful because I'm like, "yes, not only did I write these things, but I may have also said them out loud." When strong opinions go unchecked, and are savagely released into internet-land, bad things happen. Because maybe later you will realize, "hmm... once I actually learned more about (insert subject here), I realized that maybe I was wrong." But it's too late. Because everyone's already read your blog. But I guess, whatever. Life is a growing experience. Could I use any more cliches in this journal entry?
So, sometimes my old writing is annoying and weird but cool because I can see how I've changed or grown. This post I'm sharing comes from a particularly teachable/vulnerable/humble time in my life. So, I like it. I should probably only write when I'm feeling humble and teachable, because then I'll always look back and think "Oh OK. That's good."
If you knew me two years ago, then maybe you already read the post, so you don't have to read it again. But, if you're wondering why I am running a marathon to support causes in Kakamega, I think that particular post shows why my time in Kenya was so incredibly wonderful, challenging, important, and growth-filled.
I will leave you with a completely unrelated thought, and that is, although "almond peanut butter with sea salt" may sound appetizing, it is - in fact - not. I don't know, I just feel like that needed to be said tonight.
Also, I just want to say THANK YOU to those of you who have already donated! If you haven't, and you feel so called (note that I wrote this entry on payday muahahhaha), I would be so extremely appreciative! Again, you may do so by clicking the button on left side of the page, or by sending me a check. If you'd like to do the latter, email me at laurenehaney@gmail.com and I'll send you my address.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Ohhh life. This post might be whiney so feel free to skip over it.
I am currently up at 11:56 p.m. (on a Tuesday!). WHAT is happening to me. This is not normal.
I have been really busy lately, and have not had sufficient introvert-recharge time. I'm fairly sure that's a real thing and I'm not making it up. I've been dealing w/ old job craziness (slash insanity) and new job craziness (aka I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm mentally exhausted) so I'm not really able to focus on anything, such as blogging. However, I should try, b/c blogging is like therapy for me since I'm too poor and lazy to get actual therapy. Must write more to offset emotional spazzing.
Anyway, I threw a "dinner party" for some former co-workers this past weekend. It was so much fun, but I am kind of over this whole trying-to-impress-others-with-food situation. I cooked a chicken pot pie totally from scratch, except for the crust which was pre-made b/c a very good cook (aka my mom) said it's OK to use pre-made crusts :) Also, I bought wine, not anticipating that so many of my guests would also bring wine, and so now I have many bottles of nice wine! Keep in mind that I define "nice" as wine that costs more than $6 per bottle. So, it was tons of fun, but I was in "go" mode all weekend, with minimal time to myself, and for an introvert such as myself, it was challenging. And then I've been at my new job, which is great and I like it, but it's also like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what am I doing. I had a moment today at 5 p.m., so my brain was pretty much shut off, and I was trying to address a problem on my own... and two co-workers were like, "Ohh ok, just do A,B,C, and D. Got it? Ok bye!" and I was like, "Oh yes! Got it!" And then two seconds later I realized that they were just saying words and I was just responding positively in an effort to move things along and I had no idea what 90% of it actually meant. And I think I quasi figured it out... but I still needed a lot of Lindt chocolate when I came home, which tells me that my brain needs some sharpening. (And also that I need to eat some turkey and fall asleep on the couch watching Elf)
Also, this man at my new job was asking me how I'm doing, and I hate when my new co-workers ask me that, because I don't want to say "oh I love it!" because then they'll know I'm lying, but I also don't want to be like "umm I feel overwhelmed and I'm possibly going to have an emotional breakdown" because... that's weird and it's too soon to talk about crying in front of new co-workers. Maybe someday. But not now. Anyway, what the heck was I saying... oh, so this guy at work was like "how are you doing?" and I said "I'm doing well! I'm overwhelmed but I'm feeling OK!" (using the "sandwich" technique I learned in middle school to fight off my fellow 6th graders who were trying to peer pressure me - aka "I like you as a friend, but I really don't want to smoke, but I'd still like to go see a movie with you!") That stuff works. Yeah, this guy is older and experienced and good at his job (when will that day come for me...) and he was like "Ohhh OK!" (aka "I'm not buying your BS") and he said "I think you're catching on! But I've seen that fawn-in-the-headlights look on your face a few times!" And I was like "hahahahah I know! My face betrays me." And it does. While some new employees might be able to put up a nice front before they go home and cry themselves to sleep, I cannot do that. If I feel like oh-my-gosh-I-do-not-understand-this-job, my face completely reflects that. It's great. It's great because there's no use in trying to lie because nobody believes you anyway.
And now that it sounds like I'm a literal mental person, let's move on.
Umm wow. Running... I have nothing to report. I ran today on this teeeeeeeeny tiny track at the Y, with about 7 other people. Small track, 2 fast runners, 2 slow runners, 1 walker, 1 small child, 1 guy doing situps in the middle-ish of the track. This, my friends, is a recipe for disaster. I just want to yell "everybody run at the same speed! and get the child off the track!" but, it's the Y, and they are concerned with family values or something like that so they allow children everywhere. At the gym, I'd prefer children to been heard and not seen, because if they're seen, that means they're in the way. Anyway, it is annoying, and I am now searching for a new gym that has a larger track. And less small children.
Goo. So, if you find my writing annoying and self-indulgent, please rest assured that I feel the same way. I just re-read this entry and thought the same thing. However, I promise to write some legit things extremely soon (helllllllloooooooo thanksgiving break, I have never been more excited for you) that are not whine-centric and will hopefully be interesting and enriching. I feel kind of bad because I want my writing to be uplifting and I'm not sure how well I've been doing with that... Anyway, I do appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this, and promise there will be much more interesting stuff about what's going on in Kakamega as soon as I figure out how to prioritize my life better and not just write about nonsense. Stay tuned. It'll get better. I promise.
OK, that's it for now. Going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow! 4-day weekend, good food, family, friends, crappy Lions football... ahhhhhhhhh, it's home.
I am currently up at 11:56 p.m. (on a Tuesday!). WHAT is happening to me. This is not normal.
I have been really busy lately, and have not had sufficient introvert-recharge time. I'm fairly sure that's a real thing and I'm not making it up. I've been dealing w/ old job craziness (slash insanity) and new job craziness (aka I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm mentally exhausted) so I'm not really able to focus on anything, such as blogging. However, I should try, b/c blogging is like therapy for me since I'm too poor and lazy to get actual therapy. Must write more to offset emotional spazzing.
Anyway, I threw a "dinner party" for some former co-workers this past weekend. It was so much fun, but I am kind of over this whole trying-to-impress-others-with-food situation. I cooked a chicken pot pie totally from scratch, except for the crust which was pre-made b/c a very good cook (aka my mom) said it's OK to use pre-made crusts :) Also, I bought wine, not anticipating that so many of my guests would also bring wine, and so now I have many bottles of nice wine! Keep in mind that I define "nice" as wine that costs more than $6 per bottle. So, it was tons of fun, but I was in "go" mode all weekend, with minimal time to myself, and for an introvert such as myself, it was challenging. And then I've been at my new job, which is great and I like it, but it's also like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what am I doing. I had a moment today at 5 p.m., so my brain was pretty much shut off, and I was trying to address a problem on my own... and two co-workers were like, "Ohh ok, just do A,B,C, and D. Got it? Ok bye!" and I was like, "Oh yes! Got it!" And then two seconds later I realized that they were just saying words and I was just responding positively in an effort to move things along and I had no idea what 90% of it actually meant. And I think I quasi figured it out... but I still needed a lot of Lindt chocolate when I came home, which tells me that my brain needs some sharpening. (And also that I need to eat some turkey and fall asleep on the couch watching Elf)
Also, this man at my new job was asking me how I'm doing, and I hate when my new co-workers ask me that, because I don't want to say "oh I love it!" because then they'll know I'm lying, but I also don't want to be like "umm I feel overwhelmed and I'm possibly going to have an emotional breakdown" because... that's weird and it's too soon to talk about crying in front of new co-workers. Maybe someday. But not now. Anyway, what the heck was I saying... oh, so this guy at work was like "how are you doing?" and I said "I'm doing well! I'm overwhelmed but I'm feeling OK!" (using the "sandwich" technique I learned in middle school to fight off my fellow 6th graders who were trying to peer pressure me - aka "I like you as a friend, but I really don't want to smoke, but I'd still like to go see a movie with you!") That stuff works. Yeah, this guy is older and experienced and good at his job (when will that day come for me...) and he was like "Ohhh OK!" (aka "I'm not buying your BS") and he said "I think you're catching on! But I've seen that fawn-in-the-headlights look on your face a few times!" And I was like "hahahahah I know! My face betrays me." And it does. While some new employees might be able to put up a nice front before they go home and cry themselves to sleep, I cannot do that. If I feel like oh-my-gosh-I-do-not-understand-this-job, my face completely reflects that. It's great. It's great because there's no use in trying to lie because nobody believes you anyway.
And now that it sounds like I'm a literal mental person, let's move on.
Umm wow. Running... I have nothing to report. I ran today on this teeeeeeeeny tiny track at the Y, with about 7 other people. Small track, 2 fast runners, 2 slow runners, 1 walker, 1 small child, 1 guy doing situps in the middle-ish of the track. This, my friends, is a recipe for disaster. I just want to yell "everybody run at the same speed! and get the child off the track!" but, it's the Y, and they are concerned with family values or something like that so they allow children everywhere. At the gym, I'd prefer children to been heard and not seen, because if they're seen, that means they're in the way. Anyway, it is annoying, and I am now searching for a new gym that has a larger track. And less small children.
Goo. So, if you find my writing annoying and self-indulgent, please rest assured that I feel the same way. I just re-read this entry and thought the same thing. However, I promise to write some legit things extremely soon (helllllllloooooooo thanksgiving break, I have never been more excited for you) that are not whine-centric and will hopefully be interesting and enriching. I feel kind of bad because I want my writing to be uplifting and I'm not sure how well I've been doing with that... Anyway, I do appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this, and promise there will be much more interesting stuff about what's going on in Kakamega as soon as I figure out how to prioritize my life better and not just write about nonsense. Stay tuned. It'll get better. I promise.
OK, that's it for now. Going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow! 4-day weekend, good food, family, friends, crappy Lions football... ahhhhhhhhh, it's home.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Virginia (fantastic), New Job (hopeful), Flu (praying to avoid it)
It's been a busy week for me, so I apologize for the lack of posts.
Last weekend I was in Virginia to watch one of my best friends get married (and yes, if you can tell by my recent posts, fall is officially the new summer, in terms of a wedding season). So, congratulations to Kristin, who was stunning, and Garrett, who is a very lucky man :)
I was excited about going to Virginia in November for several reasons (seeing my lovely college friends and celebrating this wedding being the obvious big reasons), but also because I thought it was going to be a nice, warm break from chilly Illinois. Yes, I love fall here, but I also don't see a ton of sunlight here... so, I was looking forward to it. Turns out that it was 75 FREAKING DEGREES in Chicagoland over the weekend, and it was probably 60s-ish in VA. Ahhh such is life. It was a pretty amazing weekend. Despite my girlfriends and I potentially ruining a car (so sorry G family - we are ruffians - please bill us), it was SO GOOD. Beautiful, beautiful wedding & couple :)
I did go for two runs while I was there, although they were the "run slowly and stop often" kinds of runs that you take when you're in a totally new place and could easily get lost. I pictured myself taking long runs on the beach (in my mind, all cities in coastal states are approximately 2 minutes from the beach - this delusion is the result of growing up in the midwest, I think), but I was actually taking short runs through neighborhoods, but it was all good. I did run by a Waffle House, although I didn't actually go there. Apparently, most southerners think they're gross, but I am oddly drawn to them. Don't ask why.
Anyway, I think I may possibly be getting sick, but still went for a run (albeit a short one) this morning, because I thought the cold air would run through my nasal passage and clear my lungs or something? I know I probably should've WebMD-ed it before I went out, but my internal doctor was telling me to go with it. I welcome all comments about whether or not my medical knowledge is sound.
I wish I had more to say, but I'm emotionally/physically tapped out right now on account of my traveling and job switch, so, that's all I've got. Thanks for reading!
Last weekend I was in Virginia to watch one of my best friends get married (and yes, if you can tell by my recent posts, fall is officially the new summer, in terms of a wedding season). So, congratulations to Kristin, who was stunning, and Garrett, who is a very lucky man :)
I was excited about going to Virginia in November for several reasons (seeing my lovely college friends and celebrating this wedding being the obvious big reasons), but also because I thought it was going to be a nice, warm break from chilly Illinois. Yes, I love fall here, but I also don't see a ton of sunlight here... so, I was looking forward to it. Turns out that it was 75 FREAKING DEGREES in Chicagoland over the weekend, and it was probably 60s-ish in VA. Ahhh such is life. It was a pretty amazing weekend. Despite my girlfriends and I potentially ruining a car (so sorry G family - we are ruffians - please bill us), it was SO GOOD. Beautiful, beautiful wedding & couple :)
I did go for two runs while I was there, although they were the "run slowly and stop often" kinds of runs that you take when you're in a totally new place and could easily get lost. I pictured myself taking long runs on the beach (in my mind, all cities in coastal states are approximately 2 minutes from the beach - this delusion is the result of growing up in the midwest, I think), but I was actually taking short runs through neighborhoods, but it was all good. I did run by a Waffle House, although I didn't actually go there. Apparently, most southerners think they're gross, but I am oddly drawn to them. Don't ask why.
Anyway, I think I may possibly be getting sick, but still went for a run (albeit a short one) this morning, because I thought the cold air would run through my nasal passage and clear my lungs or something? I know I probably should've WebMD-ed it before I went out, but my internal doctor was telling me to go with it. I welcome all comments about whether or not my medical knowledge is sound.
I wish I had more to say, but I'm emotionally/physically tapped out right now on account of my traveling and job switch, so, that's all I've got. Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A few things:
1. I think someone sabotaged my caffiene-free streak yesterday by giving me caffienated coffee. Except, I didn't buy coffee yesterday - I just drank some at the office - so maybe I did it to myself? Did I accidentallly make regular coffee? I don't know. Anyway, I stayed up until 11 last night and then had to force myself to go to sleep because I wasn't even tired (because I was on a Chase Utley high, maybe? (when did I start watching baseball?)), and then I woke up at 6 this morning, and was so eager to go for a run! FYI - I never run in the mornings because I don't like waking up insanely early. Also, it's cold here in the mornings. But, daylight savings time has messed up my life, because I came home from work last night, changed, and went for a run immediately - and it was already totally dark outside by the time I got back home (before 6). I even did most of my run at the nearby high school track, which was lit, because I thought that it was safer than running the terrifying streets of Glen Ellyn. So, the whole after-work-running thing can't go on much longer, sadly. Anyway, November morning runs are COLD. Note to self: don't wear shorts next time.
2. I just got an email titled "The Health Consequences of Sitting All Day." As I'm about to start my full day of sitting at my desk... darn these health emails I've foolishly signed up for! Anyway, I'm scanning the article, and it says the #1 consequence of sitting at a desk all day is buttock weakness. The best way to counteract that is to do "bridge" exercises. And also to not have a desk job, I guess? But, you need a job to have health insurance so that you can go to the doctor for your buttocks weakness problems. So, I don't know - there are no easy answers, I suppose. Anyway, sitting all day = buttocks weakness = do some bridge exercises at home. That's your fun fact of the day.
3. I will be conducting quasi-interviews via email with Abbey and Hayley in the near future, so if you have any questions for them about their involvment in their initiatives in Kenya (or their personal lives, likes/dislikes, favorite movies), please pass them along! You can also email me at laurenehaney@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, FYI.
That is all. Happy Tuesday!
1. I think someone sabotaged my caffiene-free streak yesterday by giving me caffienated coffee. Except, I didn't buy coffee yesterday - I just drank some at the office - so maybe I did it to myself? Did I accidentallly make regular coffee? I don't know. Anyway, I stayed up until 11 last night and then had to force myself to go to sleep because I wasn't even tired (because I was on a Chase Utley high, maybe? (when did I start watching baseball?)), and then I woke up at 6 this morning, and was so eager to go for a run! FYI - I never run in the mornings because I don't like waking up insanely early. Also, it's cold here in the mornings. But, daylight savings time has messed up my life, because I came home from work last night, changed, and went for a run immediately - and it was already totally dark outside by the time I got back home (before 6). I even did most of my run at the nearby high school track, which was lit, because I thought that it was safer than running the terrifying streets of Glen Ellyn. So, the whole after-work-running thing can't go on much longer, sadly. Anyway, November morning runs are COLD. Note to self: don't wear shorts next time.
2. I just got an email titled "The Health Consequences of Sitting All Day." As I'm about to start my full day of sitting at my desk... darn these health emails I've foolishly signed up for! Anyway, I'm scanning the article, and it says the #1 consequence of sitting at a desk all day is buttock weakness. The best way to counteract that is to do "bridge" exercises. And also to not have a desk job, I guess? But, you need a job to have health insurance so that you can go to the doctor for your buttocks weakness problems. So, I don't know - there are no easy answers, I suppose. Anyway, sitting all day = buttocks weakness = do some bridge exercises at home. That's your fun fact of the day.
3. I will be conducting quasi-interviews via email with Abbey and Hayley in the near future, so if you have any questions for them about their involvment in their initiatives in Kenya (or their personal lives, likes/dislikes, favorite movies), please pass them along! You can also email me at laurenehaney@gmail.com. I am also on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, FYI.
That is all. Happy Tuesday!
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