Ohhh life. This post might be whiney so feel free to skip over it.

I am currently up at 11:56 p.m. (on a Tuesday!). WHAT is happening to me. This is not normal.

I have been really busy lately, and have not had sufficient introvert-recharge time. I'm fairly sure that's a real thing and I'm not making it up. I've been dealing w/ old job craziness (slash insanity) and new job craziness (aka I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm mentally exhausted) so I'm not really able to focus on anything, such as blogging. However, I should try, b/c blogging is like therapy for me since I'm too poor and lazy to get actual therapy. Must write more to offset emotional spazzing.

Anyway, I threw a "dinner party" for some former co-workers this past weekend. It was so much fun, but I am kind of over this whole trying-to-impress-others-with-food situation. I cooked a chicken pot pie totally from scratch, except for the crust which was pre-made b/c a very good cook (aka my mom) said it's OK to use pre-made crusts :) Also, I bought wine, not anticipating that so many of my guests would also bring wine, and so now I have many bottles of nice wine! Keep in mind that I define "nice" as wine that costs more than $6 per bottle. So, it was tons of fun, but I was in "go" mode all weekend, with minimal time to myself, and for an introvert such as myself, it was challenging. And then I've been at my new job, which is great and I like it, but it's also like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what am I doing. I had a moment today at 5 p.m., so my brain was pretty much shut off, and I was trying to address a problem on my own... and two co-workers were like, "Ohh ok, just do A,B,C, and D. Got it? Ok bye!" and I was like, "Oh yes! Got it!" And then two seconds later I realized that they were just saying words and I was just responding positively in an effort to move things along and I had no idea what 90% of it actually meant. And I think I quasi figured it out... but I still needed a lot of Lindt chocolate when I came home, which tells me that my brain needs some sharpening. (And also that I need to eat some turkey and fall asleep on the couch watching Elf)

Also, this man at my new job was asking me how I'm doing, and I hate when my new co-workers ask me that, because I don't want to say "oh I love it!" because then they'll know I'm lying, but I also don't want to be like "umm I feel overwhelmed and I'm possibly going to have an emotional breakdown" because... that's weird and it's too soon to talk about crying in front of new co-workers. Maybe someday. But not now. Anyway, what the heck was I saying... oh, so this guy at work was like "how are you doing?" and I said "I'm doing well! I'm overwhelmed but I'm feeling OK!" (using the "sandwich" technique I learned in middle school to fight off my fellow 6th graders who were trying to peer pressure me - aka "I like you as a friend, but I really don't want to smoke, but I'd still like to go see a movie with you!") That stuff works. Yeah, this guy is older and experienced and good at his job (when will that day come for me...) and he was like "Ohhh OK!" (aka "I'm not buying your BS") and he said "I think you're catching on! But I've seen that fawn-in-the-headlights look on your face a few times!" And I was like "hahahahah I know! My face betrays me." And it does. While some new employees might be able to put up a nice front before they go home and cry themselves to sleep, I cannot do that. If I feel like oh-my-gosh-I-do-not-understand-this-job, my face completely reflects that. It's great. It's great because there's no use in trying to lie because nobody believes you anyway.

And now that it sounds like I'm a literal mental person, let's move on.

Umm wow. Running... I have nothing to report. I ran today on this teeeeeeeeny tiny track at the Y, with about 7 other people. Small track, 2 fast runners, 2 slow runners, 1 walker, 1 small child, 1 guy doing situps in the middle-ish of the track. This, my friends, is a recipe for disaster. I just want to yell "everybody run at the same speed! and get the child off the track!" but, it's the Y, and they are concerned with family values or something like that so they allow children everywhere. At the gym, I'd prefer children to been heard and not seen, because if they're seen, that means they're in the way. Anyway, it is annoying, and I am now searching for a new gym that has a larger track. And less small children.

Goo. So, if you find my writing annoying and self-indulgent, please rest assured that I feel the same way. I just re-read this entry and thought the same thing. However, I promise to write some legit things extremely soon (helllllllloooooooo thanksgiving break, I have never been more excited for you) that are not whine-centric and will hopefully be interesting and enriching. I feel kind of bad because I want my writing to be uplifting and I'm not sure how well I've been doing with that... Anyway, I do appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this, and promise there will be much more interesting stuff about what's going on in Kakamega as soon as I figure out how to prioritize my life better and not just write about nonsense. Stay tuned. It'll get better. I promise.

OK, that's it for now. Going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow! 4-day weekend, good food, family, friends, crappy Lions football... ahhhhhhhhh, it's home.